Letter to Giuliana, Big-Sister-To-Be

Dear Sweet Giuliana,

Oh, my sweet first born baby.  You have no idea the joy you have brought Daddy and I over the last year and a half.  You have been an absolute joy wrapped in the biggest learning experience of our lives.   You have gone from a tiny, helpless little baby to a walking, talking, laughing and exploring toddler.  Now, as we anticipate the arrival of your baby sister, we look forward to adding "Big Sister" to all those wonderful things you've become.

You have been our first experience with being parents.  It's been heartbreaking at times and pure joy the rest of the time.  I never knew how much the saying "Having a child is a momentous decision.  It's the decision to have your heart forever go walking around outside your body" was true until I brought you into the world.  You are, by far, the most amazing thing that Daddy and I have ever done and everything you've done both big and small has made us beam with pride.  You are beautiful, gentle and sweet...the quintessential little girl.  You're cautious and shy at first and then boisterous and fun-loving next.  I cannot wait to watch you with your little sister.  I just know you're going to be so full of wonder and protective curiosity when it comes to her.  Daddy and I are so blessed.

You've had a really big year and a half of life, sweet girl.  You've lived in three houses in the short time you've been here and now we're finally in the home where you will grow up and I think you are just as pleased as we are to be here and settled.  You have handled the transitions of it all so well and we are so surprised at your resilience.  You love your friends at school, your dog and kitty and being pushed around in all your cool car toys.  You will get to share all of these fun things with your sister when she gets here and is old enough to enjoy them.  It will be up to you to show her so many things and I just know it's going to make you the very best of friends.

Mama has struggled with the question of whether it's possible to love two children the way you have loved just one.  Will there be enough love to go around and can I possibly love anything else the way I love you?  It's a tough one.  You are my heart, baby girl and I can't imagine love twice that big.  I know it will happen and it will be natural once your sister is here, but it's hard to fathom. You have such a special place with both Daddy and with me.  That special place will always be there, as you will always be our first born child.  I think that God giving us two babies to love and doubling the love in our hearts to make room for two makes us so, so lucky.  Sharing is what life is about and what better way to show you that than giving you this gift of a sister?

I know that for a little while you may become a bit of a Daddy's girl after Libby is born and that's okay.  I know that my hands will seem very busy with the new baby and less available to help you with the things you still need from me.  I promise to try very hard to take the time to still hold your hand, hug you, help you with your bath and your dinner and read you bedtime stories, even when Libby may seem to need me more.  My hands will always still belong to both of you, as will my heart.  Please don't forget that, honey.  Mama may be busy, but she's never too busy with one to be there for the other.

Thank you for letting me learn how to be a mother these last 18 months.  Without you, I'd not know what in the world to do with this new baby.  You are so special and so loved, Baby G.  We are such lucky parents to have you as our first born and Libby is the luckiest little sister in the world to have you to look up to as she grows up.  We love you to the moon and back.

Love always,

Mama

Letter to Libby Rose

Dear Elizabeth "Libby" Rose (my sweet unborn baby girl),

Today is two days from your due date.  I thought this time would never come.  When your daddy and I found out about you not long after Thanksgiving last year, it felt like it would be forever until we greeted you into our world and our family.  I felt like I had so much time, yet so much to do to be prepared for you in every way.  We've been very busy getting ready to meet you and making sure your life here with your sister, daddy and me is happy and comfortable.

It's been a crazy nine months.  In just a short time, we celebrated your big sister's first Christmas, rang in a new year, celebrated your big sister's very first birthday, sold our townhouse we've lived in since before Daddy and I were married, lived in a small apartment for a month and bought and moved into a big house to fit all of us as our family grows.  Phew!  It's been busy and it's been exciting.  Above all, it's been a lot of work for Daddy.  He's been such a trooper taking care of all of these things for our family while still working hard at work so we can have all the things we need.  I was working, too, up until about two weeks ago when I finally went on maternity leave with you.  You've decided that you want to make me very swollen and you are sitting on my left side very low making it very painful for me to walk and get around much.  I know it will be worth it when you're here, but you have made these last couple of weeks a challenge!

I've gained about 32 lbs with you.  I gained about 38 with your sister, but I didn't lose the last five pounds of baby weight I still had from her when we got pregnant with you.  You've really liked it when I've eaten fruit, ice cream and cheeseburgers.  We try very hard to eat healthy and stay active most of the time, but I've indulged here and there and I think it's made you a very healthy baby as you grow in my belly.  At just 34 weeks, my doctor told me that you were already almost six pounds, so there's just no telling how big you're going to be when you arrive.  I've felt generally pretty good so far until the end and the beginning of my pregnancy was a bit rough, too.  When you were just very small and beginning to grow inside me, you made me feel much sicker than your big sister did.  They say it can get worse each time you get pregnant and also that girl babies will make you feel more nauseated than boys, but who knows?  Luckily, months three through nine were pretty great!

Your room in our new house is still coming together.  I've ordered some beautiful grey, blue, yellow and white bedding for you and your crib is a beautiful cherry wood piece we bought from one of Mama's friends.  I'm hoping to get your room decorated completely by the time you're six months old.  I look forward to making sure that you and your big sister have sweet little spaces all your own in our new house.  You have plenty of precious little clothes to wear when you arrive, too.  Mama's friend Alee has given you so many sweet outfits and I have so many things left over from when your sister was little that we are all set to make you a cute little fashion plate.

I'm not sure that your sister, Giuliana, is old enough to understand that she's going to be a big sister very soon.  I know that just being 18 months apart is going to be hard at times, but my hope is that the two of you will be very best friends.  Mama and Aunt T are five years apart and sometimes I wish we would have been as close in age as you and Giuliana, but we are still very close nonetheless.  You will be one grade apart in school, but hopefully you will share the same friends and keep each others secrets and share your dreams with one another.  Daddy and I think you will love having each other.  We are excited to raise two little girls.  Our family already feels much more complete as we anticipate your arrival.

Well, it remains to be seen which day will be your birthday.  You are due on August 10, 2012 which is two days from now on Friday, but there's no telling what kinds of plans you have.  I'm hoping to let you choose your own birthday, as we were induced with your big sister five days after she was scheduled to arrive.  If my pain persists, we will have to talk about planning your arrival instead of letting you decide and that will make Mama a little sad, but at least everyone will be in better shape to take care of you when you're here.  I really hope you hurry up!  I can't wait to see your beautiful face.  I wonder how much you'll look like or different from your sister.  Will you have blue eyes or brown?  Will you be a big baby or petite like your sister?  Will you be expressive and fussy or sweet and mellow?  Either way, you are one thing for sure.  You are ours and you are already loved.  Happy journey, Libby Rose.  We're waiting....

Love always,

Mama

Bring it 2012

As I stare outside at our Christmas tree in two pieces sitting lonely on the curb, I'm reminded of the way I feel every year after the holidays...empty. Some call it the "holiday blues", I guess I just kinda call it "meh...now what?". "Now what" is easy, actually, if I'd just get off my procrastinating ass and get organized.

Giuliana's first birthday is a little over a month away. I feel the crazy pressure associated with making the perfect party for her. She's my first child, it's her first birthday, make this shit GOOD..right? Well, that's one way to look at it, but I'm choosing to try to make this a little less stressful on myself. I mean, I have help if I just ask for it and really, what kind of off the chain kegger can I really throw in a place that can realistically hold 20 people? (and let's hope those people like each other, because it's gonna be a tight fit). One detail at a time, right? This is what I keep telling myself. That and ask for the help. I'm not good at either one, so it's time to suck it up and try to make this easier on myself. Breathe....repeat.

So, while we're talking kids, I might as well spill it. We're having another one. Yep, I'm going to be a mom of two in August. I had my first doctor's appointment yesterday and all looks great, so I'm hopeful that this pregnancy will go smoothly and that I survive this first trimester. I have been puking like a 17 year old supermodel after a burger binge and I feel like I'm deep sea fishing half the day. Buh. I've also had a few, um, mood swings. When I say "mood swings", I mean murderous rage. I could seriously rip apart anyone who gets in my way if they catch me at the wrong moment. It's fun in our house right now, especially for Paul. Thank God for patient husbands.

Giuliana is doing some pretty rad things these days. She says "uh oh" and "Da Da" and she can cruise the entire perimeter of our coffee table. She's clapping her hands and waving, too. I must say, this age has been the most fun thus far. She has personality, she's interactive and she's a very sweet little girl. Strong willed, yes, but very sweet. I mean, what did you expect? The child comes by stubbornness naturally. She's sleeping better and we seem to be getting almost 10-11 hours out of her each night unless she's sick. What we're not getting; however, are two top teeth. Those suckers have been threatening to poke through her gums for two months now and still nothin'! I'm hoping they'll be here in time for her to take a big ol' bite of her 1st birthday cake!

So, that's about it for now..so I say..ready or not, BRING IT, 2012! Let's do the damn thing.

Peace out fools.

xo

p.s. Check out the clip below. The girl is well on her way to being a regular Chatty Cathy. Oh, and pay no mind to my shitty videography skills. Thanks to Nanny and Pa for the video camera!

Christmas Eve. I obviously haven't kept up with my promise to keep up on this blog...but...big news...I got a new iMac computer!! I have no excuses now. Pictures to come on Giuliana's first Christmas and a long summation of her first year thus far. I'm shocked that she's 10 1/2 months old already. This year has seriously flown by! Also, there's some news about what's coming in the new year. Hint: this could be a real game-changer. Oh boy! Or girl?

I'm new. I'm still figuring this out, but the intention is there. I've wanted to blog for some time now and I know that it will take me time to get used to doing this, but I had to start somewhere. I need a chronicle of my life right now. Not only because my memory decided to break up with me somewhere around 34 1/2 years old, but because I have an almost-7-month old angel who will wonder what life was like for us and her when she was little. So, I figure better late than never on getting started on this. Bear with me if you're reading...I swear this will get more interesting. I have so much to learn and the best way to learn is to get started.

I'll begin with a post and pics about our beach trip this weekend. When I get home. Shh...this first post was done at work, so I'll recap the Port A 3rd annual end of summer trip when I have a minute to sit and really pour it out.

Soon,

J